ok, so do I fire you?

well even though I posted this morning, I'm posting again right now, with my shoulders strapped into shoulder ice packs. what do you do when you call your doctor to ask if you can be bumped up in dosage on your antiinflammatory because it seems to kinda, maybe, make you feel better? and they didn't realize you were SUPPOSED to be at 3 times that dosage but because of an error on their part (or their staff they say), you were at the wrong dosage? do you fire them or give them another chance? so all this time when your rheumatologist has been asking if you've been taking their near-narcotic opiate ultram as well, and you're still not feeling better, don't they wonder what the hell is wrong?

my shoulders are very angry

It's been a bit since I posted but I want to say my shoulders are very angry. They got angry because in PT they were abused instead of helped. I saw the doctor and said "they hurt my shoulders in PT, my shoulders are killing me, I had to go to work after PT and had to use the handicapped keys on my keyboard because I couldn't use my arms!" he asked "where did you go to PT" hah! "here!" boy he was quiet after that. I don't think it's wise to do 130 repetitions of intense exercises just because you think I need it. that's the trouble with going to different PTs, but I learned my lesson, I will only go to one certain PT if I go there for shoulder work again. The one that gives the antiinflammatory patches after treatment!

anyway, he gave me cortizone shots because he thought my rotator cuff areas were still infamed (yeah try playing air hockey with your daughter and your shoulder is constantly popping out of it's socket and hurts like hell). well no duh. this morning I feel the heat radiating out of them but no pain, which is good but holy crow are they ever angry at the world! they are radiating so much heat I could cook an egg on each of them. So the shots are working and hopefully will calm the inflammation. let's all hopefully have a good day, including my shoulders.

Happy New Year!

Has it really been over a week since I last blogged? Not a good start! But if I try to do one everyday, then I think it will become a "chore" rather than what I mean it to be -- my journey with arthritis, which on most days sucks. So who wants to listen everyday to "it sucks". Anyway, I was really excited because I have Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy on my facebook and I clicked that I liked something and now I was friended! So it's kind of cool, I'm working on my support networks. I don't think people I know firsthand are going to be very helpful, in fact, so many people just don't understand it, why bother. I'm just realizing how dysfunctional a history I come from. but I realize it's really just a very lonely place to be at, I mean who really cares? So I just live me life everyday feeling like there are thousands of hot pokers in me, who cares? So I have a little trouble walking some days, who cares? I'm sure if I only got away from the computer it would be so much better, right? yeah.

You can see I'm rambling but life is really rough for me, so I'm starting to lean toward people who are having problems instead of expecting people without these will understand, even if they are family. The problem is family wants to solve the problem, not just understand or listen. So I'm crossing over that place into the chronic illness and want to find people who are battling same kinds of issues, I think it's the only way I'll have some peace and/or acceptance.

Yet again the first time I met someone in a new chronic illness support group who had MS, she thought nutrition pretty much could take care of joint problems. So i guess everyone's a little bit ignorant at times.

I'm finishing up most likely with PT and OT but have to look into the wrist -- clunking alot, of course pain, and a cyst is appearing. Good old arthritis! my pal to the end!