ok, so do I fire you?

well even though I posted this morning, I'm posting again right now, with my shoulders strapped into shoulder ice packs. what do you do when you call your doctor to ask if you can be bumped up in dosage on your antiinflammatory because it seems to kinda, maybe, make you feel better? and they didn't realize you were SUPPOSED to be at 3 times that dosage but because of an error on their part (or their staff they say), you were at the wrong dosage? do you fire them or give them another chance? so all this time when your rheumatologist has been asking if you've been taking their near-narcotic opiate ultram as well, and you're still not feeling better, don't they wonder what the hell is wrong?

my shoulders are very angry

It's been a bit since I posted but I want to say my shoulders are very angry. They got angry because in PT they were abused instead of helped. I saw the doctor and said "they hurt my shoulders in PT, my shoulders are killing me, I had to go to work after PT and had to use the handicapped keys on my keyboard because I couldn't use my arms!" he asked "where did you go to PT" hah! "here!" boy he was quiet after that. I don't think it's wise to do 130 repetitions of intense exercises just because you think I need it. that's the trouble with going to different PTs, but I learned my lesson, I will only go to one certain PT if I go there for shoulder work again. The one that gives the antiinflammatory patches after treatment!

anyway, he gave me cortizone shots because he thought my rotator cuff areas were still infamed (yeah try playing air hockey with your daughter and your shoulder is constantly popping out of it's socket and hurts like hell). well no duh. this morning I feel the heat radiating out of them but no pain, which is good but holy crow are they ever angry at the world! they are radiating so much heat I could cook an egg on each of them. So the shots are working and hopefully will calm the inflammation. let's all hopefully have a good day, including my shoulders.

Happy New Year!

Has it really been over a week since I last blogged? Not a good start! But if I try to do one everyday, then I think it will become a "chore" rather than what I mean it to be -- my journey with arthritis, which on most days sucks. So who wants to listen everyday to "it sucks". Anyway, I was really excited because I have Rheumatoid Arthritis Guy on my facebook and I clicked that I liked something and now I was friended! So it's kind of cool, I'm working on my support networks. I don't think people I know firsthand are going to be very helpful, in fact, so many people just don't understand it, why bother. I'm just realizing how dysfunctional a history I come from. but I realize it's really just a very lonely place to be at, I mean who really cares? So I just live me life everyday feeling like there are thousands of hot pokers in me, who cares? So I have a little trouble walking some days, who cares? I'm sure if I only got away from the computer it would be so much better, right? yeah.

You can see I'm rambling but life is really rough for me, so I'm starting to lean toward people who are having problems instead of expecting people without these will understand, even if they are family. The problem is family wants to solve the problem, not just understand or listen. So I'm crossing over that place into the chronic illness and want to find people who are battling same kinds of issues, I think it's the only way I'll have some peace and/or acceptance.

Yet again the first time I met someone in a new chronic illness support group who had MS, she thought nutrition pretty much could take care of joint problems. So i guess everyone's a little bit ignorant at times.

I'm finishing up most likely with PT and OT but have to look into the wrist -- clunking alot, of course pain, and a cyst is appearing. Good old arthritis! my pal to the end!

verklempt

I am. I really am. I am really wondering how many useful years I will have doing what I do now. I'm already having so much trouble using a computer. I've been a secretary for almost 30 years and am worried. So again I think about college. I can't keep thinking things will get easier. And I need to keep a job. But we already have a daughter in college yet I know this is really something very important I need to think about. I wish someone else really were as worried as I was.

Training your Dragon

In my quest to make things easier in life, I spent most of yesterday's workday working with the Dragon voice recognition software (you can tell it's a very slow holiday week). That is one cool toy. Although I don't know how much it'll help me in my next big project at work, it will help at some point on some project so that's a good thing. The neat thing is you can upload documents into it that you've worked on in the past so it can digest it and and "get used to" how you write (or your boss I should say). And that is one handy dandy cool dude toy because when it comes to legal cites and legal or technical terms, it can really make a difference in how it perceives what your recording. The only hurdle is to get the person dictating to actually slow down and spend time enunciating his/her words.

So vacation starting tomorrow and all next week. . . I have needed this for such a long time. I've taken vacation days here and there, a Friday, a Monday, but there's nothing like 10 days of sleeping in and going at a slow pace. It should at least help my wrists and typing, they are really bugging me and I don't know if it's the tendons from the elbows or the wrist arthritis alone. Now I have a lump so of course being Dec. 29th, it'll be the new year if something is done (why does that always happen!) a new deductible.

Ahhhh, looking to a restful tomorrow . . .

not a good night to post

This will be short because I have a really bad sore throat and other than work, all I can do is watch The Big Bang Theory and try not to spread my germs. I had OT today on my elbows, but they do a world of good for my wrists as well. Tomorrow will be PT on my shoulders, then OT, then PT . . . and on and on. I got a lot of advice on ergonomics at my work desk which I pretty much know but was given the ok to rest my lower arms on my chair while I type to give my shoulders a break. I have been wanting to do this but have tried not to because it is usually not recommended . . . but what's a girl to do when every joint has arthritis? Well I'm referring to the upper joints right now. If I were talking about the lower joints, we wouldn't be sure of the knees, they haven't been xrayed yet, but my rheumatologist and I always wonder if they are arthritic because of the way they sound (and sometimes lately the way they feel). They didn't show up on my nuclear bone scan, but neither did my hips or neck, which have arthritis as well. Anyway, I'm interested in a keyboard which the OT showed me where it's completely split but connected by a wire or something, and can be elevated -- the biggest problem right now is turning my wrists down to type at the keyboard is what hurts the most, we're not sure if that will go away but since I have an obvious bone lump or something in one of my wrists, it would probably be best to find something where I'm not turning my wrists as much. It's amazing how many different mouses are out there as well, and I'm on the hunt for that. But I've been told the best thing for me is the 20/20, stop every 20 minutes and stretch for 20 seconds. If only other people were as understanding, well if they were, I wouldn't have had the extreme flareups I'm having now -- pain yes, but not problems using the mouse or computer, or having to switch to the left hand with the mouse when I'm right handed. so if only. . .

ahh . . . typed in well under 20 minutes.

just another arthritis blog

I'm being sarcastic here -- as I feel there aren't enough of them. The reason i'm here? To pour out my feelings of my life dealing with arthritis in multiple joints, last time I counted: over 10, around 14 if you get really technical and count my SI joints. It hasn't yet been decided if I have just all over OA or if there's an inflammatory component, I have injuries and a twisted pelvis leading to a twisted spine. This first post will be short, but there will be many many long ones. I believe it will be therapeutic and hopefully not a woe is me (well, sometimes), so here we go! More about me coming up in the next posts . . .